John was a Giant of a Man

There are people in life who draw people to themselves.  They are naturally born to lead.  

Some are coaches.

Some are quarterbacks.

Some are  great managers.

Some are teachers.

These people are naturally great at encouraging others to be their best, to be comfortable with themselves.

John had all those qualities.  

Around 1980 I met his brother Mark.  He was cut from the same fabric.  We worked together at Young Life’s Windy Gap as mini bike guides in the mountains of Western NC.

Mark reminded everyone of what we called the Marlboro Man.  (Remember the old cigarette commercials)  You know, the good looking masculine guy every guy wanted to be who all the girls adored.  That was Mark.  If you met him you instantly found him to be gentle, kind and yet you knew there was a wildness about him. A man among men born to lead.

Fast forward fifteen years and I had moved and married in Nashville.  My firstborn son had just been born and through a network of friends I met John.  They had a distinctive family name and so when we met I asked him if he knew Mark.  He laughed with that giant boisterous spirit of a man and told me Mark was his brother.

I couldn’t believe it.  Somehow in time and space,  life graced me with the privilege of experiencing life once more with this band of brothers.

Just like his brother John had a huge circle of guys that I was introduced to.  All married and with kids just like me.  And John being the leader that he was along with a couple of those guys came up with the concept of a babysitting co-op.

The idea was simple and brilliant.  Every Saturday evening one family would host the kids of all the families in the co-op.  Another married couple would be on duty with the host couple.

Kids could be dropped off at 6 p.m. but had to be picked up by 10 p.m.  Two couples were always on duty.  

The point was to open up space for young couples to get 4 hours of free child care so that they could reconnect as a married couple.  The couples on duty rotated each Saturday night and each couple ended up working the co-op 1 out of every 4 or 5 Saturday nights.

Couples rotated duties and so over time we all got to know each other very well.

We belonged to the co-op for about 10 years and raised 3 kids during those years.

I always looked forward to the nights we worked with John and his wife.  He had a natural ability with kids to allow themselves to be kids and experience play as play was meant to be.

Fast forward about 16 years and I was sitting in my living room one night when the news came. 

Tragic news.

On his 5oth birthday John died. 

My sons came running into the living room and broke the news to me.  They told me it was all over social media.  

I told them that there was no way it was true.

But it was.

How could this happen?  One of the greatest men I had ever known was gone.  

A giant had been slain in the prime of his life.  

To say that I was devastated would be an understatement.

A couple of days later it was time for the funeral.  I can still see myself getting out of the car in the Church parking lot to go in.  Still in total disbelief.

His brother Mark spoke at the service.  It was a full house.  John had impacted so many people who wanted to come and pay their respects.

Mark preached at his brother’s funeral.

Anyone who attended and had never heard about Jesus, forgiveness of sin, and salvation through belief in Jesus heard it that day.

After the official service there was a reception at a nearby church.  Friends and family were invited to share stories about John’s life.  I was blown away by what I heard.

One of the wives via the extended family stood before the crowd of about 100 or so and spoke of how John had saved her life.

She told of how she had gone through a recent season of deep depression.  John loved her through it.

Two brothers heard on Friday afternoon that John was gone, bought plane tickets on a red eye flight from San Francisco and arrived the next morning.

They wanted to tell how John had saved their lives not once but TWICE.

As kids they moved from a town in Turkey to John’s town in Maryland.  They were Islamic kids and found themselves in a new Western culture.

John’s childhood neighborhood was legendary for the friendships that came out of it.  

It was a neighborhood with new homes under construction and boys would play at the construction sites when the workers were gone for the day.

They met him one day as they were walking by a house under construction.  The kids were jumping off the roof into a pile of construction sand and he invited them to join in the fun.  

That was John.  

Always the leader on great expeditions into the unknown.  

Always drawing guys to new ventures.

Sometime later the brothers decided to visit the neighborhood pool.  Neither knew how to swim and as one of them was looking into the water he accidentally fell in.

John jumped in and saved his life!

Decades past and they lost contact with each other…..and then two years prior to John’s passing they reconnected.

Through the course of many conversations via phone John introduced one of them to Jesus.  

He said and I quote:

“John saved my life twice.  Once Physically and once Spiritually “.

After the testimonies were done it was time to give condolences to his wife.

I waited my turn in line.

The guy in front of me turned to me and said “John saved my life as well”.

I stood there stunned.  

He told me how he had gone through a recent difficult personal season that pulled him into a state of deep depression.  He met John at the local YMCA and true to course John walked and coached him through the depression. 

I miss my friend.  

He was truly a giant of a man who saved the lives of many.

A man with a huge heart and a spirit of humility was gone.  

A giant who passed through time.

Looking forward to seeing him again some day on the other side.  I am guessing he will have new adventures to guide his friends and family on when our time comes.

RIP John